Quite possibly the best/worst fortune cookie fortune ever.
if you’re a girl & you say you’ve never been physically attracted to a girl you’re lying girls are fucking hot
When people in movies run directly away from the train / boulder / truck / etc instead of just like, taking two steps to the side of it
OH NO A GIGANTIC TREE FALLING OVER *runs away directly along its length*
I think it’s so sweet when people remember lil things about me but I feel like such a creep when I remember things about people
"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction."-Chuck Palahniuk, Choke (via larmoyante)
they were rescued from a testing lab, they’ve never walked on grass before
So like last week I was in melbourne and I walked up to a girl and told her this world’s an ugly place, but you’re so beautiful to me and then she blushed and giggled and I asked her if it was cool to hold her hand and she said yes and long story short that’s how I picked up a girl with blink-182 lyrics.